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I've made my mind not to go to the Mooncake Festive in my school.

Why should I go and make myself suffer? Looking at them performing whilst you can't and you can only cheer for them as one of the tiny crowd.

Yes, I am pissed when I know everyone is going to perform during that day, but I'm more mad at myself. I can only blame myself for not having the time and chance to practice and perform with them. But it also broke my heart to know that they all were performing. I know that they don't have the need to quit the performance when someone can't make it, but I secretly hope they will. Bah, now I know that it's 100% that they won't quit.

Some of you my ask what is wrong with me? Why am I upset over such minor things? Yes, this is minor and I know I shouldn't make such a big deal out of it. But I just couldn't help myself. Imagine the gang of friends you used to hang out with and do everything together, and know everything just changed.

I know I'm usually or always the left out during outings or activities, I have my reasons and I don't like that position I'm in. I want to hang out with you guys, but sometimes there's just something in between that I couldn't go out anymore.

I hate the feeling of being left out, but that's the feeling that have accompanied me throughtout my childhood days and until now. Imagine you see people laughing and sharing with you their happy moments without you, how would you feel? You can only smile and laugh back in return and give positive feedbacks about the memories and activities without you in it.

I know I'm also quite a hot-tempered person and I used to get angry quite often and easily during outings and I sincerely appologize to whom I've hurt in the past. I always tell myself to cool down but sometimes I just can't stop myself from doing so. I got irratited by some of you sometimes when you're bitchy, but when you're good, I have no harsh feelings towards you.

I doubt you'll know that anyway, because you have your own new friends already. Thank you for letting me know that I can't rely on you all forever. And thank you once more, for letting me realise that I do have some good friends around me. It's so funny the humans used to ignore people that really care for you, huh?

Anyway, it make me more aware that I shouldn't just stick to you guys only. Yes, you all are great friends to hang out with but I should treat myself with more respect and intergrity. I wouldn't need to just stick behind you, I can have my own friends. Thank you for letting my realise that I'm worth it too. (: although I learnt this lesson throught the hard way.


Time for some happy post! Watched Vampire Sucks today, and gosh I love it! But too bad I gotta watch it alone. ): It's like a parody version of Twilight Saga. The settings is the same, I think. And even the names are almost similar!

Edward Cullen vs Edward Sullen ( I think Edward Sullen is hotter than Cullen )
Bella Swan vs Becca Crane ( I still prefer Bella Swan! )
Jacob Black vs Jacob White

I mean the script writer just changed some of the dialogues and add some funny lines in it because the others is almost the same as Twilight.

I think it's worth to watch it but I don't think it'll work out for those no-nonsense people. (:

Ok, I know I haven't update my blog like for quite some time. Even my laptop doesn't auto sign me in to blogger.com anymore. :x I'm not quite up to blogging now, maybe I'm using my phone to online most of the time? It's more convenient actually, onlining via phone. So the usual website I would go is just facebook and twitter. (:

Just finished our exam this week and I don't wanna talk anything about it.

Went out with hunnie Vivien today and I had loads of fun! Okay, I shall upload some pics since I haven't done it in a long long time! :D Sorry for the shitty quality, because some I took it off video and my handphone is only 3.2 megapixels and most of the photo is in the darkness. :P
Anyway, most of the KTV pictures are almost the same. Tee hee~~

We went around shopping then head straight to the cinema to watch love in disguise. I admit I don't really fancy Lee Hom before but after the movie I think he's quite okay after all. :P It's a nice movie anyway. (:

Then we went to Popular to kill some time whilst Vivien brough @dd magazine. When we walk in I heard a song that is sung by Lee Hom, and when I double-confirm with Vivien, she said I don't know. What kind of fan is this? xD

Brought this from MiniToons! Vivien and I both brought it. Talking about this remind me of a photo that was taken long agooooooo.

Vivien = Blue
Elaine = Black
Me = Pink!!! :D
Joan = White ( but not here :x )
Later on Joan switched colours with Elaine so that we can match back the colours with our phone colour! So ngam right? Elaine has a white phone whereas Joan has a black one and I have a pink one whereas Vivien has a blue phone!


"WE HAVE BEEN FRIENDS TOGETHER IN SUNSHINES AND IN SHADES"
Thank you for giving me this, Vivien! Love ya! Muacks! Tee hee~~

The only nice photo of me. :P Too bad la, I'm not pretty so very hard to find a pretty picture! Haha~

I think this glasses is so damn cool! There's loads more in the shop but I don't dare to try everyone and snap pictures with it. I don't wanna get kicked out from the shop! :P

Last but not least, our only photo taken together. ):

I broke down when I came back to my home. All the emotions, the frustration just got to me and I just starting sobbing and crying.

Why? Why is it so hard to get a friend that really understand? Why?

Do you know that I always felt that I'm not worthy when I'm with you? Somehow you just give me the feeling that I'm not worthy. Yes, I'm not as smart as you. Yes, I don't have your talent.

I've been sobbing and crying and asking myself why. Why why why? Those are the questions that I can't asnwer. Am I really that unworthy? Am I really that bad? Don't I deserve this?

I felt like I'm a rubbish. You guys come and find me when you need my help. That's what I felt. I felt like I'm a tool to you, a tool to get what you want.

I wish I can be stronger and not cry everytime when a problem pops out. But I'm just that weak. I can bear to face you any longer because I don't even know how to talk properly to you without feeling frustration.

Yes, I'm pissed off at school. But now, all I feel like it's my fault, you know? it's me. It's me. I'm dissapointed with myself. Why must I let my anger control me? I am mad when I found out that you kinda forget about me and didn't inform me. I felt left out, you know? How would you feel if you're in my shoes?

The feeling of being left out is not good. It sucks. I've been having this feeling since primary. I thought that I will never have this feeling again when I met you. But I still have that in me. That bitter side of me. That feeling is like in my blood already. I wanna it to get lost, but I can't.

I felt so useless, I felt left out.

I don't think that you'll understand what I'm feeling now.

I pray to god the He will let me finish typing this post without re-writing it again and again.
I made myself to blog at least once a week but being the usual lazy me, I will post posts without pictures! :D Go to http://www.facebook.com/sotseine for pictures! But I seldom update my pictures album because I’m too lazy!!!!!!!

School is still okay. Same pattern everyday. I skipped school on Wednesday because I over slept. :x Okay, wanna know the truth? Actually I woke up around 6.50am realising that I was late. Then I think to myself:"Oh shit! I have less than 10 minutes to prepare everything!" So I plonked myself back to my fluffy pillow while cuddling sottie and go back to my dreamland. I did had a good dream that morning! Fuiyohhh~~~ Can I have that dream again? Too bad it's just a dream. >.<

Okay, why didn’t I get to know them better earlier because they’re so fun to be with! They’re Yean yan, Hwei Yee and Prashanya! It’s sooooo funny to be with them. On Tuesday, Yean yan, Prashanya and I even planned to tweet Justin Bieber together! This is because we found out that he usually retweet his fan’s tweets so we decided to give it a shot but the results is he never reply. :P Kinda guessed that this will be it. How nice if he reply us right? So we joked around that he might be country-ist and only fancied European countries but not Asian countries. :P Sorry if I pissed some of his die-hard fans but we were just fooling around when we make that comment.

It’s a total waste of time that we went school today. No lessons were taught and I’m serious!! Scroll down to see the activities for today!!

Sej – teacher was absent. Yes!!

Bm – teacher was absent too!! Wohooo~ We’re over the moon!!

Sivik – was asked to do our own things and everyone kinda transformed to animals when we were giving opinions on where to go for our class trip. I didn’t even know the final decision because I was busy throwing paper balls here and there. Someone kept aiming for butt but I don’t know who. I know my butt is sexaayyyy and hot!!!! :P

-recess-

Moral – went to the library to finish up our folio but being the usual lazy me I went over to Yean yan, Prashanya and Hwei yee’s table to chit-chat with them. Imagine after 7 months only I start talking to them?? And they’re sitting just in front of me in the class. -.- wow, I’m really slow at making friends! Then we started to discuss of how to drag our English teacher’s time so that she won’t teach us.

English – plan succeed!! We started singing birthday song when she walked in and you can see it from her expression that she’s shocked. It’s actually Hwei yee’s birthday today! (: We kept repeating the birthday song and somehow our class started to sing random songs. Kenneth, Richard, Kang Ying and Kai Chean were even “invited” to dance in front of the class! It’s so hilarious! I’m loving my classmates more and more now! <3 My personal favorite part is whenever someone step in our class, we’ll start to sing birthday song like those shop censor? So Bryan kept stepping in and out so we were like Hap, Hap, Hap….!! :D

After english? Time to go home!!

I was pretty lucky that my name was not jotted down when there was spot check this morning. My nails and fringe were pretty long and I was so lucky when I was not caught by prefets! *phew* My fringe were so long that it kept poking my eyes until it was damn itchy. So haircut tomorroe after school activities! <3 Dreading for it now. I won’t want to risk to get caught the next spot check. And whilst we were in the library, I saw prefects walking in our class and they’re spot checking our bags. I was lucky, again that my friend’s highlighter which was on my table was not confistigated. My friend checked my table so thank youuuuu! (:

Oh ya, last but not least, congratz to Meng Jiun for his novel getting in the Selangor state contest. I regret so much for not participating although I finished writing mine. :x Is it worth it to not cut short my story because mine was a bit too long. Is it worth it?????? To those who are interested in my story, here's the link!!
http://sotseine.blogspot.com/2010_03_19_archive.html

~Tata~

Okay, I give up! I re-typed this post for 4 freaking times and it doesn't work out. ): Not my fault, blame blogger.com! Screw u!

Okay, I blogged to pass my time while waiting for the moment of getting a chance to win the MTV World Stage tickets. :x Wish me luck ya?

For the first time in my life, I fell asleep while watching the tele. I mean, this is just not me! I was too tired of sleeping late last night and waking up early today. It's Facebook's fault! Blame it!!! I literally fell asleep while watching The Biggest Loser Australia Season 2 and I fell asleep during the most exciting part. -.- So I didn't get to know which team loses the weigh-in and I can't watch the repeat because I AM watching the repeat.

Sometimes I just can't stand myself. Why must I be so lazy? Why can't I study like other people? Why can't I stop myself from feeling sleepy whenever I open my books and tried to study? I never suceed studying without falling asleep on my books. I hate myself so much when I do that! I only started to regret for not studying more when I got back my suckish results but beforehand, I don't have the motivation to get my ass of the laptop and start studying. ):

Maybe I should take all my books to the Garden Terrace's Office and study? Well, there's air-cond there and there's no handphone/laptop to distract me. Nah, I'll surely fall asleep as well, or maybe I'll day-dream while looking out the windows and enjoy the scenary. Exam is exactly a month away and I have not prepared. I don't understand all my sciences subjects. I don't know what is coming out from teachers mouth! All I know is their mouth is moving non stop and I have no idea what are they talking about. Being in the tuition is the same case too! For physics is more okay for me because I at least understand what he is talking about. But I just don't know how to do his homework when I'm at home. Chemistry is the worst! I don't even understand what is the tuition teacher talking about! Biology is the worst of the lot! I never attend tuition for that because I think I still can handle it, and obviously I can't but I never had tuition for that too. I'm lazy to go to tuitions!!!!!!

What is wrong with me, dude? Wake up wake up!!!! There's no such year as honeymoon year!!!

BTW, I wanna thank Hanley Fong again for helping me to spot junior and the bee for the MTV World Stage tickets! Thank you! (:

Heya! I think I have left my bloggie dead for quite some time. Too bad! My results sucks so no laptop! ): Oh ya, before I forget, the lazy bum bum Chen Wei Seine a.k.a sotseine has finally made up her mind to open up a facebook account after being laugh by Mr.Lee numerous time for being outdated. -.- So here's my link and add me up if I left you out ya?

Hmmm.... Let's see. Okay, on 2-4th July, I went to a camp in FRIM, Kepong. The experience is urm, I'm trying to find the suitable word but failed. In simple, it's fun although it's dirty. I've been extremely scared of leece biting me before I went to the camp and luckily, no leech bite for me! I'm such a lucky girl! :P And I'm lucky enough again to be not chosen for the night patrol! Imagine my luck! Should have gotten myself a lottery ticket or something, maybe I might win! Met some new friends there and we actually have our little secrets of our own after we came back from the camp. Hui Sin,Twins, Ee Cheng, Vivien and I have our little secret admirer after the camp. We're like crazy hunting for our idols in school and talking about them during recess. We'll brag and say who walk past us and who did we saw and lots more. I know it sounds childish but we had tons of fun from it. (: I think it's a bitter-sweet memory that I'll definitely remember when I'm old next time. How come it's bitter? Try and ask me in person! ;) But I don't think I'm gonna tell you! Hahahaha~

Then we had a suprise party for both Vivien and Ee Cheng! (: They sure got a shock from it! I enjoyes myself once again. I know I'm skipping all the details but I don't think I have the mood to blog it all out.

Haven't got back my result slip back. :x I want it I want it I want it! Okay, time to stop blogging and time for face-booking! Gosh, I've just open my account for 2 days and I'm already addicted to it? Damn those people that made me open-ed it. xD

Tata~ *I miss ou xiang~*

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Did my aural test and teacher kept laughing at me when I said these line :-
"Aw man! I'm so hungry! I've not eaten in three whole days!"
"Books? What are books? I wonder if they are delicious?"

-I think she kept laughing because I use to eat in class and there's no way that I can survive if I haven't eat in three whole days! I think I'll drop dead after the 1st half day. :x

The worst part is, for literature, teacher had 4 people out to "perform" the Gulp and Gasp drama.
Richard-Lord Septic
Hong Chun - Crouch
Kang Ying - Percy
Rose - Me! T_T

Imagine having to say "I love you" to Kang Ying! The whole class was laughing like mad! T_T
and in such coincedence, Rose had to say the same line "I've not eaten in 3 days!" and I broke into giggles. Teacher kept laughing too. Poor me having to starve for 6 days altogether.

I even had to let Kang Ying touch my hand! :0 I kept laughing whenever I have lines that need me to express my affection towards Percy. But I can't help myself when I need to repeat the lines to Kang Ying! My cheeks were so tired after the drama from laughing and laughing and laughing! I'm starting to love school already! <3

*I need to clarify that it is nothing personal about Kang Ying, kay?*

How nice if school is all about presenting drama, drama and drama? No more reports! No more essays! Everything is just drama! Bah, I'm not in drama school~

I've actually done 2 blog posts earlier but didn't publish it. :P Gonna save it for times that I have no idea or no mood to blog. Tee hee

Just got back from my date with hunnie on Sunway! Damn tired now but very satisfied. Maybe I'll sleep with a wide wide smile on my face tonight. Haha~ Never thought my mom will let me out because school starts tomorrow and it's Father's Day today. Felt so bad for ditching my dad at home whilst I'm having fun outside! :P

Guess who's my hunnie? It's Vivien!!

Her mom came by to my house around 9am and said hi to both my parents whilst poor Puggy was lock up in the backyard because Vivien is scared of her! Then wwnt back to Vivien's house to fetch her sis, Natalie and her friend.

First thing when we reached there was to buy tickets for movie! (: Watched Nanny McPhee and the Big Bang. Won't say that the show is awesome but it's definitely worth watching! I love it when she says her name is Nanny McPhee spelt with a small c and big P! <3

Then walked to J-Co Doughnuts as breakfast :P I know I know, what an unhealthy choice right? But we have only limited time to live so why not make good use of your time to eat something that you like? (: After breakfast, we hit to AmpSquare! Finally I can ditch RedBox because I found another better one. Tee hee~ Prices are cheaper, time period are longer, the only thing is the admin's attitude. Both Vivien and I felt like slapping her hard in her face. How can she be so rude to customers??!!

We both didn't brought our I/C so we borrowed Natalie's for registeration and we were in Room11 whilst Natalie and her friends are on Room13. My mom kept telling me that their food are awful but I think it's not bad! Vivien and I sang and sang and sang until we were both out of breathe. We were jumping around on the sofas and the waiter/waitress don't even ask you to get down from the sofa like what they do in RedBox! This is amazing! Maybe 9 out of 10 customers do this so they were immuned to it? Vivien got excited all over when she got to know the real meaning of If you seek Amy by Britney Spears. (: Sometimes we doesn't sing, we SHOUT! Lolx We were so high at that time! We started the session with Lady Gaga's Bad Romance and ended with that song too! Hahahahaha

After that, went straight to the cinema and watch our movie. Didn't choose Sex and the City 2 because it's rated as 18 and all important scenes were cut. So why waste Rm13 bucks to see cut edition? I rather buy DVD and watch it at home. :P I wanna watch Karate Kid but the timing is not right. ): So the only choice left is Nanny McPhee. Anyway, that show is highly recommended by Jo because she watched it already in Aus. It seems that this is the 2nd show and the 1st one is nicer.

After movies, it's time to go home. ): Time flies when I'm with my hunnie. T_T No camwhore shots because we were rushing here then rush there. ;) We were two very busy people! xD

Tata~ Going to have my dinner then watch tonight's Oprah because she's interviewing the casts of Glee!! <3>

Feels good to know that there's actually people reading my blog! It not be a massive number, but it still feels good to know that there's someone supporting you somewhere. And I actually found out that my readers are not only from Malaysia but some are from Singapore and Australia! I don't think Jo is the one because she doesn't even know my blog link. :P

Life has been shitty to me for the past few months and I feel like I'm going to have a breakdown AGAIN sometime. =X It's just that the pressure is building up in me and I have nowhere to release it out. How nice if you can release your stress by farting or burping. Then no one in this world will have stress, right?

Yea, I should take it easy and maybe breathe in some air? There's nothing I could do, you know? I felt that someday I will suffocate by all this pressure around me. If life is just about all this, I don't really know what's the real reason people should live. I know I'm being negative, but isn't life suppose to be happy and colourful? But mine is just grey, grey and grey.

I actually felt calmer looking at the rain drops dropping down. I wanna stand in the middle of the road and let the rain drops clear my mind. But I didn't. I'm already sick for nearly 3 weeks and I wanna get better. Maybe I need a physcologist to help me? Nah, talking doesn't even help right now. I don't even know what's bothering me right now. Every lil thing could trigger my emotions now, I rarely talk at home now, which is a massive change in me. How could I, Chen Wei Seine not talk? It's just not right. = Crying myself to sleep seems like a daily routine to me now. How I wish everything would just go away. Maybe I should learn some magic to make it all vanish? I just want to lead a life that everyone 16 years old teenager should have.

Even watching comedy shows couldn't make me laugh now. I don't wanna grow up and become some mental physco, but I know if I keep on burdening myself like that, I will somehow become one. Maybe I should just take a break from everything? But how is that going to work out? So eventually my happiest time of all is when I'm sleeping, I can actually breathe smoothly without worrying what's going to happen the next minute. I can actually relax by then. I refuse to get up every morning because I know what is ahead of me, but I need to pull myself together and just get my ass of my bed. If I'm not there for her, who will? So can I sleep forever like Sleeping Beauty and wait for my prince to appear? Nah, I wouldn't need a prince to come, I just need my problem to go away, that's all. Is all this too much to hope for?

Let's see when's my last update.... Oopsie, it's May 13! And it's 10 June today! Oh gosh, did I not update for nearly a month? I know I can be excused right? ;P We have exams, and Jocelyn got back from Aus so I spent all my time with her. =D I miss her so much now~
*I didn't even really study for my exams because I was too busy spending my time with Jo! :P*

I miss bullying her and I miss talking to her before I go to sleep. We slept in the same room for the past one month and she took my bed so I conquer the wooden floor. xD We talk non-stop before going to sleep. I love to bully her by snatching both of her blankets. She always complain that my room is very cold, that's why she has a comforter and a blanket. -.- How on earth is she going to survive during winter? The answer is, her electric blanket! Lolx

Everytime when we go out shopping, she would ask me to sit on my bed with my eyes close so that she could help me make-up. When I'm still a little girl, she would pleat my hair because I have a long long long hair last time. She would treat me like a barbie doll and now she still do! Except she doesn't touch my frizzy hair now. :P We would prank each other up by putting horrible make-up colours on each other and we'll have a good hard laugh.

Jo is so going to kill me when she sees this pictures. :P
But nevermind, it's to entertain ya' all!

Okay, she said that this picture make her look like a rock star! *laughing + rolling on the floor!*

Why does happy times fly faster than usual? How I wish it could be October the next day so that I could play with her again. :X

Hmm... Went to The Mines one day to watch Shrek Forever After for free! Tee hee~ Somehow I don't know how my dad manage to get 2 tickets so he and I are going to watch it. Couldn't stop smiling~

My dad actually said that he looked like a drunktard! :P He said it, not me!

See, I'm not lying! We really got it for free! I even snap a shot of the ticket to prove it. Tee hee

And I cried :( I cried while watching cartoon! OMG, something is seriously wrong with me. :X And my dad kept teasing me for that. Hmph!

I think you should have noticed that I'm having short hair in the above photos. If you don't, it's okay, you can have a eye check-up for free in any of the optical shop :) But if you aren't free, then you can just scroll down to see more of my pictures! :P
*but don't scroll down when you're drinking/eating! You may have blood on your computer/laptop screen then*

Oh ya! I almost forgot! Jo wasn't very fond of puggy when we bought her back. She never see her before, but based on the photos we sent to Jo, she doesn't really adore Puggy. But after spending sometime with Puggy, Jo is actually more attached to my dog than us! Can you actually imagine that? Everytime she sms-ed us now will be based on Puggy only :( She even made her a shirt!

Seriously, she sew that shirt for Puggy. Oh ya, Puggy loves pink, just like me! So we chose a hellp kitty cloth for her. :P

Celebrated our parents 25th wedding anniversary in T.G.I Friday. :) Jo and I spent around 30 minutes naked in my room to decorate their cards. Actually we're planning to bath, but we just remembered we haven't actually decorate nor write messages in the cards yet, so we did that without bothering to put on our clothes :P Oh ya, we bath together too! Tee hee ;) I help you scrub your back you help me scrub my back. Wakakaka~



I took this in the toilet whilst waiting for Jes to finish writing the card in the toilet. -.- So pathetic right?

We bought our parents favorite ice-cream cake! Calories calories~

This is what happen when I took back T.G.I Friday's balloon. I tied it to Puggy's neck! Poor dog~

3rd badge of bird nestling beside Jes's air-cond compressor! It's not fair because only 2 badge of birds are nestling beside my air-cond compressor. Maybe Jes's place is smellier? xD Oh ya, the egg hatch and one of the baby bird flew into our house and hid behind our sofa. So our so-called detective dog keep snarling and barking belpw the sofa. Lol Lastly we asked the part-time maid to catch the bird and out it back to the nest.


My new laptop table from Ikea! Somemore is foldable! <3>


PHOTO OF THE DAY:

Puggy really knows how to find a spot to sleep right? Rest her head on top of my shoulder somemore. Tsk tsk

Recently I'm madly in love with HeadCoverz! We went there on one sunday afternoon and I don't feel like walking out of the shop anymore! I found one advertorial about this shop while scrolling on Cheesie's blog, so I asked my dad to bring me there and he said yes! [Advertorial here]
I was like a 3 year old child there, I can't stop myself from touching this wig then touvhing that wig again. :P I tried on clip-on fringe and a big curl brown-haired wig but I was too busy boasting my wig to Jo that I forgot to take picture :X The boss there is so kind that she help me find accesories for my wig and customers are allowed to try on as much wigs as you want! But I didn't buy the wig although I love it very much because I'm already long haired, so no use buy another long hair wig right? Somemore it's not that cheap~ So somehow I got a short hair wig from the net! Tee hee~

Tata~ Gotta continue with my korean drama! Cinderella Stepsister rocks!! <3
8 more episodes to go and I'm done with the drama!