: : WEI SEINE : : SOTSEINE : :

Sometimes, I wish that the time would stop flowing and the earth will stop orbiting. And sometimes, I wish that all of this is just a horrible dream.

I'm 16, yes, I know some have gone through this far more than I am. But I would still like to say that I can't handle this. I don't know what to expect next. The pain is so horrible that you wouldn't know it until you have gone through this yourself.

I weep and cry in my room but I just couldn't stop myself from doing so. I'm not that strong. I'm still just a little girl in the inside. I still am the one who laughs and crys. I always stay cheerful in front of you all, but in the inside, it's bitter. It feels like the bitterness is going to explode out any minutes. I dislike this kind of feeling, but I have to accept it.

Because of the unfaieness of the world, people have to accept the bitter feelings. I know what I'm going through now is not as much as hers, but I just don't know how to react, or even face her. I'm always cautious about my words, my expression, my everything. She's one of my dearest, and I don't wanna see her tear. It breaks my heart when she does.

Sometimes, I feel so useless. I can't help her ease the pain. All I can do is watch her from behind, and give her encouragement. But other than that, there's nothing I can do. I'm sick of weeping and crying in my room. I need a shoulder to lean on. I know I couldn't bother them anymore, they have far more stress than I am.

I wonder how did they manage to go thorugh all this? I know I can, I know she can, but can we just skip the process? Can we just proceed to the ending? Things are far more easier like this. Eyesight are blurred by the tears and the keyboard is wet because of the tears. But there nothing I can do. Nothing

I can just accept the fact that I can't help.

I need to just accept the fact that I'm always trying to ignore.

I need to grow up, even though I don't want to. Reality is always cruel.

I also need to accept the fact that I'm no more living in the fairy tale world that I'm always living in.