I've made my mind not to go to the Mooncake Festive in my school.
Why should I go and make myself suffer? Looking at them performing whilst you can't and you can only cheer for them as one of the tiny crowd.
Yes, I am pissed when I know everyone is going to perform during that day, but I'm more mad at myself. I can only blame myself for not having the time and chance to practice and perform with them. But it also broke my heart to know that they all were performing. I know that they don't have the need to quit the performance when someone can't make it, but I secretly hope they will. Bah, now I know that it's 100% that they won't quit.
Some of you my ask what is wrong with me? Why am I upset over such minor things? Yes, this is minor and I know I shouldn't make such a big deal out of it. But I just couldn't help myself. Imagine the gang of friends you used to hang out with and do everything together, and know everything just changed.
I know I'm usually or always the left out during outings or activities, I have my reasons and I don't like that position I'm in. I want to hang out with you guys, but sometimes there's just something in between that I couldn't go out anymore.
I hate the feeling of being left out, but that's the feeling that have accompanied me throughtout my childhood days and until now. Imagine you see people laughing and sharing with you their happy moments without you, how would you feel? You can only smile and laugh back in return and give positive feedbacks about the memories and activities without you in it.
I know I'm also quite a hot-tempered person and I used to get angry quite often and easily during outings and I sincerely appologize to whom I've hurt in the past. I always tell myself to cool down but sometimes I just can't stop myself from doing so. I got irratited by some of you sometimes when you're bitchy, but when you're good, I have no harsh feelings towards you.
I doubt you'll know that anyway, because you have your own new friends already. Thank you for letting me know that I can't rely on you all forever. And thank you once more, for letting me realise that I do have some good friends around me. It's so funny the humans used to ignore people that really care for you, huh?
Anyway, it make me more aware that I shouldn't just stick to you guys only. Yes, you all are great friends to hang out with but I should treat myself with more respect and intergrity. I wouldn't need to just stick behind you, I can have my own friends. Thank you for letting my realise that I'm worth it too. (: although I learnt this lesson throught the hard way.
Time for some happy post! Watched Vampire Sucks today, and gosh I love it! But too bad I gotta watch it alone. ): It's like a parody version of Twilight Saga. The settings is the same, I think. And even the names are almost similar!
Edward Cullen vs Edward Sullen ( I think Edward Sullen is hotter than Cullen )
Bella Swan vs Becca Crane ( I still prefer Bella Swan! )
Jacob Black vs Jacob White
I mean the script writer just changed some of the dialogues and add some funny lines in it because the others is almost the same as Twilight.
I think it's worth to watch it but I don't think it'll work out for those no-nonsense people. (:
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