Feels good to know that there's actually people reading my blog! It not be a massive number, but it still feels good to know that there's someone supporting you somewhere. And I actually found out that my readers are not only from Malaysia but some are from Singapore and Australia! I don't think Jo is the one because she doesn't even know my blog link. :P
Life has been shitty to me for the past few months and I feel like I'm going to have a breakdown AGAIN sometime. =X It's just that the pressure is building up in me and I have nowhere to release it out. How nice if you can release your stress by farting or burping. Then no one in this world will have stress, right?
Yea, I should take it easy and maybe breathe in some air? There's nothing I could do, you know? I felt that someday I will suffocate by all this pressure around me. If life is just about all this, I don't really know what's the real reason people should live. I know I'm being negative, but isn't life suppose to be happy and colourful? But mine is just grey, grey and grey.
I actually felt calmer looking at the rain drops dropping down. I wanna stand in the middle of the road and let the rain drops clear my mind. But I didn't. I'm already sick for nearly 3 weeks and I wanna get better. Maybe I need a physcologist to help me? Nah, talking doesn't even help right now. I don't even know what's bothering me right now. Every lil thing could trigger my emotions now, I rarely talk at home now, which is a massive change in me. How could I, Chen Wei Seine not talk? It's just not right. = Crying myself to sleep seems like a daily routine to me now. How I wish everything would just go away. Maybe I should learn some magic to make it all vanish? I just want to lead a life that everyone 16 years old teenager should have.
Even watching comedy shows couldn't make me laugh now. I don't wanna grow up and become some mental physco, but I know if I keep on burdening myself like that, I will somehow become one. Maybe I should just take a break from everything? But how is that going to work out? So eventually my happiest time of all is when I'm sleeping, I can actually breathe smoothly without worrying what's going to happen the next minute. I can actually relax by then. I refuse to get up every morning because I know what is ahead of me, but I need to pull myself together and just get my ass of my bed. If I'm not there for her, who will? So can I sleep forever like Sleeping Beauty and wait for my prince to appear? Nah, I wouldn't need a prince to come, I just need my problem to go away, that's all. Is all this too much to hope for?
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