I broke down when I came back to my home. All the emotions, the frustration just got to me and I just starting sobbing and crying.
Why? Why is it so hard to get a friend that really understand? Why?
Do you know that I always felt that I'm not worthy when I'm with you? Somehow you just give me the feeling that I'm not worthy. Yes, I'm not as smart as you. Yes, I don't have your talent.
I've been sobbing and crying and asking myself why. Why why why? Those are the questions that I can't asnwer. Am I really that unworthy? Am I really that bad? Don't I deserve this?
I felt like I'm a rubbish. You guys come and find me when you need my help. That's what I felt. I felt like I'm a tool to you, a tool to get what you want.
I wish I can be stronger and not cry everytime when a problem pops out. But I'm just that weak. I can bear to face you any longer because I don't even know how to talk properly to you without feeling frustration.
Yes, I'm pissed off at school. But now, all I feel like it's my fault, you know? it's me. It's me. I'm dissapointed with myself. Why must I let my anger control me? I am mad when I found out that you kinda forget about me and didn't inform me. I felt left out, you know? How would you feel if you're in my shoes?
The feeling of being left out is not good. It sucks. I've been having this feeling since primary. I thought that I will never have this feeling again when I met you. But I still have that in me. That bitter side of me. That feeling is like in my blood already. I wanna it to get lost, but I can't.
I felt so useless, I felt left out.
I don't think that you'll understand what I'm feeling now.
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